


Finding Home

by aqonyx



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: ChanBaek - Freeform, Cute, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Kissing, M/M, Park Chanyeol Being an Idiot, Romantic Fluff, chanbaek are oblivious, chanyeol just missed baekhyun a lot, just friends but not really, not an au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-01-12 18:41:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18452375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aqonyx/pseuds/aqonyx
Summary: Sometimes you find home not in a place but in the person you come back to every time





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I love Chanyeol and Baekhyun a lot okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chanyeol's favorite person, aka Baekhyun, comes back from CBX's overseas schedule and it feels just little bit like a long-awaited homecoming. For both of them.

“Hello stranger”, Chanyeol exclaimed excitedly, hurried steps naturally accelerating into a slow run as he approached Baekhyun and wrapped his arms around his small frame in a tight hug. 

It’s been so long since they had last seen each other.

“Chanyeol”, Baekhyun sighed contently into his shoulder, letting all of his luggage drop carelessly to the floor to reciprocate the embrace and smiling dumbly in pure happiness because _fuck he’d really missed him._

“You look well”, Chanyeol said once he had pulled away to take a proper look at him, “And blonde”. 

He felt the urge to reach out and ruffle his fingers through the silky, newly dyed hair that framed Baekhyun’s pretty face, but he resisted, putting a hand on the boy’s shoulder instead.

“I _am_ well”, Baekhyun smiled, “And blonde. Do you like it?”

Chanyeol’s eyes lingered on him, recalling images of the inky black mop of hair that Baekhyun had been sporting before he had left and, in all honesty, Chanyeol had adored it; secretly thinking the ebony black tresses had given him a little more edge and had even made him look kind of _hot_. 

Objectively speaking, of course. 

Either way did Chanyeol love Baekhyun’s darker hair colors the most for they came closest to his natural shade, but he couldn’t deny that the dirty, silvery ash blonde suited Baekhyun just as perfectly. Chanyeol frowned in pretense skepticism and came to the conclusion that Baekhyun looked good in anything. 

“You know you can pull off every color out there”, he said eventually and watched on in amusement as Baekhyun clumsily tried to shoulder his bags in a poor attempt to hide how much the compliment flustered him. 

Chanyeol let him struggle for a fleeting moment before wordlessly taking the luggage from Baekhyun with a low chuckle to carry all of his belongings just the way he usually did. 

“How have _you_ been?”, Baekhyun asked as they started to make their way to Chanyeol’s car. 

“Better now”, Chanyeol admitted sheepishly, a rosy blush tinting his cheeks.

“You’re such a sap”

“I just missed you”, Chanyeol said, “Like a lot” 

“I can imagine”, Baekhyun hummed and lazily leaned against the side of the silvery Mercedes to watch Chanyeol effortlessly load his stuff into the trunk, “I missed your 24/7 service”

“You’re an idiot”, Chanyeol huffed and took his seat behind the steering wheel, rolling his eyes at Baekhyun who just laughed it off. 

Now within the more secluded privacy of the car, Baekhyun felt brave enough to reach for Chanyeol’s hand. 

“I missed you too”, he said, his tone light but serious, “Like a lot a lot” 

He burst into dumb giggles at his own words and Chanyeol’s heart fluttered at the familiar sound of it. He hadn’t seen Baekhyun in so long that he had almost forgotten what it felt like to have him right there with him and yet he was still the same, helplessly ridiculous but _adorable_ dork that Chanyeol had sent off at the airport all those months ago. 

“Eyes on the road”, Baekhyun then scolded playfully, feeling the weight of Chanyeol’s stare tickle on his skin and the latter was quick to divert his eyes, blushing. 

“Just trying to see if you look as silly as you sound” 

Baekhyun swatted his arm, gasping in feigned hurt. 

“Can’t you just be nice to me for longer than a fleeting minute?”, he complained, pushing his bottom lip forward into a perfect pout and Chanyeol had to force himself to focus on the traffic ahead of them.

“You’re too spoiled as it is”, he muttered under his breath and could literally _feel_ Baekhyun scowl at him. 

He bit down on the inside of his cheek to keep a stupid grin from spreading all over his face. 

He had missed this too. Not just Baekhyun’s sheer presence but everything that came with it; the meaningless bickering, the endless teasing and the short but sweet moments of affection that would at times leave him frivolous for weeks on end. 

He stole another glance at Baekhyun from the corner of his eyes and smiled to himself when the latter started to quietly hum along to the music that softly played in the background. Just hearing Baekhyun’s voice resonate melodically through the small space of his car made him feel oddly at home in a way he never really did whenever Baekhyun was gone. 

He didn’t quite want to admit it, but every time they had to split ways for work or holidays, Chanyeol realized over and over again that he felt less at ease even in his own parents’ home than he did with Baekhyun wherever they were; whether it be in stuffy hotel rooms or crowded dorms in strange cities all over the world. 

It was almost as if a small fraction of his comfort were solely linked to the company and presence of his friend, leaving him irretrievably whenever Baekhyun was gone. He secretly started to ponder if maybe _home_ wasn’t really meant to just describe a place of residence after all. 

Looking over at Baekhyun right then with fondness written all over his face, he felt more than anything the gratification that ran through his veins and settled right within the core of his heart, making him almost glow with happiness. 

If anyone had asked him right then and there about the things that brought him joy, he would have answered with the simple name of his friend. And if anyone had asked him if he didn’t think that was a little strange, he would have said no. 

Because Baekhyun was probably one of the most extra people he knew, and their friendship was nothing if not extravagant and that was perfectly fine with both them. Normal was just a synonym for boring anyway.

Chanyeol happily contented himself with that thought and let the present moment sink in, just listening to Baekhyun’s warm voice and rejoicing in his bright, lively presence.

His entire body relaxed back into the seat in relief when he realized that it would at least be months before they might be assigned different schedules all over again. 

“How’re things at the dorm?”, Baekhyun asked after a while, leaning back against the headrest with closed eyes. 

“As usual. It was getting a little quiet without you and Jongdae. Not complaining though” 

Baekhyun chuckled quietly, letting his head roll sideward to look at Chanyeol.

“Life’s _that_ boring without me, huh?”

“Just peaceful”, Chanyeol shot back teasingly, “Although it _really_ wasn’t the same without Minseok. I’m _so_ glad _he_ is back.”

“Well you two can catch up all you want later, I have plans anyway”, Baekhyun said without missing a beat and turned away from Chanyeol to stare out the window, eyes sparkling with mischief. 

“What?”, Chanyeol barked out almost immediately before blushing at his sudden outburst, “I mean _cool_ ” He recovered quickly, collecting himself and trying to mask his disappointed, “What plans?” 

He didn’t really want to know. Usually, neither of them ever had plans on the day they got to see each other again after a long time; Baekhyun and him had a tradition of either going out together for dinner and a couple of drinks, or of just lazily hanging out at the dorm to game and catch up, depending on what they were in the mood for.

“I’m just going out with some friends from Bucheon”, Baekhyun lied smugly, “Heard I’d be back today, so they’ll come to Seoul tonight” 

He observed with childish satisfaction as Chanyeol’s face slowly fell at his words. If his plans were real, he would of course invite Chanyeol to tag along but they weren’t and Baekhyun was weirdly pleased by the obvious disappointment that was displayed all over Chanyeol’s face despite his hardest efforts.

“I’d ask you to come but I haven’t seen them in a long time, you know”, Baekhyun continued impishly, trying to sound at least somewhat apologetic as he explained himself. 

Chanyeol bit back a heated complaint; he was upset but unwilling to ruin his friend’s mood over his own hurt feelings. 

_You haven’t seen me in a long time either_ , he thought bitterly, investing all of his self-control into keeping up a half-hearted smile in order not to dim Baekhyun’s excitement. 

“Sounds fun”, he pushed out with difficulty through his gritted teeth. 

They rode in silence for a while and Chanyeol’s grip on the steering wheel increased gradually, holding on a little harder than really necessary just to keep himself grounded. 

He refused to voice his dissatisfaction out loud; not wanting to come off as clingy nor wanting to start a fight with Baekhyun on his first day back. It’s not liked their homely traditions were set in stone by the law and Baekhyun had the right to hang out with anyone at any given time, whether Chanyeol liked it or not. 

Next to him, the older boy just observed with smug satisfaction as Chanyeol’s knuckles turned white from his strong grasp as he faintly indented the soft leather beneath his fingers and decided to relieve the boy from his distress. 

“I’m just fucking with you”, Baekhyun broke into the silence before erupting in a fit of bubbly laughter, “Stop moping” 

“What?” 

“I don’t have plans”, Baekhyun cackled at him, “At least none that don’t include you” 

It took Chanyeol a few seconds to make sense of his words before relief and annoyance washed over him at the same time.

“You’re such a little shit”, he whined, reaching over to hit him. 

Baekhyun just broke into laughter once again, instinctively catching Chanyeol’s wrist to unwrap his balled-up fist and intertwine their hands instead.

“Sorry, sorry”, he giggled, “I just like seeing you get all worked up over not being able to spend time with me” 

Chanyeol just glared at him without any real irritation to be found in his gaze. 

“So, are we hitting town or hanging at home?”, Baekhyun enquired curiously, absent-mindedly squeezing Chanyeol’s fingers in his. 

“I think you owe me both”, Chanyeol grumbled and reluctantly removed his hand from Baekhyun’s grasp to change the gear as they pulled up the dorm’s driveway. 

“Anything you want” 

Baekhyun just beamed at him so radiantly that Chanyeol couldn’t hold back the small smile that cracked his somber expression. 

He looked at the large mansion in front of them and felt that home most definitely wasn’t just a place at all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A friendly and casual night out between friends. Totally not date night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know why I wanted to write this part but I just really SEE them doing things like these and it gets my heart fluttering. ENJOY.

“Okay, this is not even funny anymore”, Chanyeol complained, dropping a large bundle of clothes right onto Baekhyun, who was lazily draped across the couch with Minseok, eyes glued to the TV.

“What the hell”, he yelped, squirming to free himself from the weight of garments before glaring at Chanyeol and straightening out his hair.

“Dude, you’re making a mess”, Minseok piped in next to Baekhyun and lazily threw one of the shirts back at Chanyeol in weak protest.

“These are all mine”, Chanyeol whined and waved his arms around as if that would help him make his point, “I just found it all in the laundry room with the rest of your shit, Baekhyun” 

“So what?”, the older shrugged nonchalantly, “I brought it all back safe and sound, didn’t I?” 

“But it isn’t yours to take”, Chanyeol sighed, “I was looking for some of these for weeks”

“Don’t you feel flattered that I take your stuff with me wherever I go?”, Baekhyun asked, snorting jokingly at the cheesiness of his own words but the statement caught Chanyeol off guard and flustered him. 

Baekhyun always purposely packing _his_ clothes to go on tour just because he always really missed Chanyeol was definitely not something that had crossed the younger’s mind at all. He knew it wasn’t the only motivation behind Baekhyun’s sneaky thievery and it certainly wasn’t a real excuse at all but hearing Baekhyun say something like that out loud – whether as a joke or not – still had Chanyeol fumble for words. 

“Y-you could at least have asked”, he eventually mumbled in defeat and started to pick at his stuff again.

“Just stop whining and get ready”, Baekhyun laughed and playfully pushed him away, “My very sorry ass will do your laundry later, alright?”

Chanyeol just rolled his eyes at the poorly attempted apology; he knew that Baekhyun would probably just end up bribing Kyungsoo or Junmyeon into doing it for him. Not that it really mattered, for the outcome would be the same, but he still shook his head in disapproval before turning to leave.

“How about you wear something that actually _fits_ you for once?”, he called out to Baekhyun and made his way upstairs without waiting for an answer.

It wasn’t until he met Baekhyun back at the front door half an hour later that he was hit with the true weight of his words. Baekhyun wasn’t wearing anything all that special but the way his clothes clung to him still had Chanyeol gape at the boy in surprise. 

The jeans he sported were a little tighter than most of his other pants, accentuating his thighs in a way that almost made Chanyeol blush. The white button-up also really wasn’t helping and _definitely_ came out of the boy’s own closet, working in his favor by perfectly hugging his upper body to highlight his broad shoulders and well-built torso. 

Baekhyun had loosely tugged the shirt into his jeans instead of letting it drape mid-thigh over his legs the way he usually did, for once revealing his frame to the very fullest and making him appear taller than usual – even to Chanyeol. 

His thoughts were suddenly all over the place as he struggled to keep himself from raking his eyes all over Baekhyun’s body just because he really hadn’t been prepared for the blonde to actually take his advice and show up like _that_. 

How had it never occurred to him that Baekhyun was _so perfectly_ proportional and _so fucking slender_ and _holy crap he really needed Baekhyun to dress like this more often_. Chanyeol had almost reached out to straighten Baekhyun’s collar a little before he stopped dead in his tracks and awkwardly ran a hand through his own messy hair instead. 

_What the actual fuck?_ He really needed to get a grip on himself.

“You like it?”, Baekhyun asked timidly, saving the younger from his scattering thoughts as he fidgeted with the worn-out jeans jacket in his hands that he had yet to put on, “I haven’t worn any of this in a while”

Chanyeol almost scoffed at the other’s doubtfulness; as if his reaction to Baekhyun itself wasn’t already answer enough. 

“Yeah”, Chanyeol breathed almost embarrassingly quick, “You should wear your own clothes more often”

“Yours are more comfortable”, Baekhyun just smiled and pulled at the arm of Chanyeol’s bomber, naively oblivious to the way in which his visuals effectively had Chanyeol’s pulse double in that very moment, “Let’s go” 

Although Chanyeol and Baekhyun both had their own respective cars that were not just nice rides but had also cost each of them a small fortune, they more often than not ended up taking one of Chanyeol’s pretty Vespas to get around the city center. 

It seemed like such a ridiculous detail, especially to their fellow members, who would always argue that a car offered not just more privacy but also increased safety and although they were right, Chanyeol never took any of the well-intended advice to heart.

He always defended his beloved Vespas, for they were practical and fun but most importantly, he knew that Baekhyun adored their occasional scooter escapades, which they way too rarely found the time for and Chanyeol would not give up small joys like these just in favor of some discretion.

“Get on”, he said as he brought the small, crème-colored motorbike around the back of the dorm and came to a stop right in front of Baekhyun to hand him his helmet. 

The blonde reluctantly put it on, pulling a small grimace in quiet protest. He still felt a little ridiculous after all this time because it was just a goddamn _scooter_ but even if Chanyeol weren’t the one constantly preaching _safety first_ , he knew their managers would be quick to replace him in doing so. 

Fastening the strap underneath his chin, he climbed on behind Chanyeol and hooked his fingers firmly around the underside of his seat.

“All set”, he called out and felt his insides flutter in anticipation as they took off.

Baekhyun had missed this; feeling the warm evening air engulf them as they drove through the lively streets of nighttime Seoul and knowing that there was nothing else on his schedule for the rest of the day; no work he needed to return to and no stressful reminders clouding his mind. He was free and he was with Chanyeol and he could enjoy himself as much as he wanted to, savoring every moment to his heart’s content. 

Feeling a little cheeky, he let go of the metal bars beneath his seat and wrapped his arms around Chanyeol’s waist instead to steady himself as he gently rested his cheek against Chanyeol’s back. 

The younger immediately tensed in surprise; muscles contracting under Baekhyun’s grip and turning his head to look at him. Baekhyun couldn’t decipher his expression because of the stupid visor but he calmly told himself that everything was fine; they were on the go, no one would recognize them and no one was following them.

So instead of shyly recoiling into his initial position and brushing his flirtatious actions off as a silly joke the way he so often did, he tightened his hold around Chanyeol just a little – just enough to tell him _it’s okay_ – and he could feel him exhale slowly. 

A small, victorious smile spread over Baekhyun’s face when Chanyeol didn’t object any further and just let himself be held as if it were the most normal, casual thing on earth. 

Baekhyun lived for these small, seemingly insignificant moments they shared whenever they had some time to themselves; relinquishing in the closeness and affection that only they seemed to understand. 

No matter how much time they spent apart, their dynamic never changed; they always stayed perfectly in tune with each other and it gave Baekhyun a strong sense of security and consistency that he didn’t think he could do without, almost like a desperately needed anchor in their hectic lives that were dedicated by nothing but change and transformation.

He snapped out of his thoughts once the scooter came to a full stop and reality settled back in. It had been a short ride – much too short for Baekhyun’s taste – and he reluctantly let his arms drop loosely to his sides before hopping off his seat to allow Chanyeol to follow suit. 

The taller hadn’t said a word about where they were headed, and it hadn’t even occurred to Baekhyun to ask. It really didn’t matter – they would have a good time wherever they went.

Nevertheless, amusement took over Baekhyun’s features when they approached a well-known, local restaurant that was famous for its barbecue dishes. He knew the place; they had occasionally eaten there before, and the food was simple but always good. Knowing Chanyeol, he could have easily guessed a place like this.

“You have the food preferences of a four-year-old”, Baekhyun quipped as they made their way through the entrance. 

“Says the biggest lightweight I know”

“Touché” 

They were quickly directed towards a more private, secluded area of the restaurant – the one thing their celebrity status could be useful for – and neither of them missed the nervous stutter in their young waiter’s rushed speech as he allocated them to their table, making Baekhyun suppress a smile.

“Don’t be mean”, Chanyeol hissed when Baekhyun sent him a smug look and kicked his shin under the table.

“Ow, I didn’t even say anything”, the blonde complained, rubbing his leg to soothe the ache with a pout on his lips.

“You were about to”, Chanyeol scoffed without looking at him, “I’d be flustered if I met us too” 

At that, Baekhyun broke into laughter; his smile all pearly white and eyes crinkling into small half-moons and _beautiful_. 

Chanyeol stuttered for just a moment. 

“You’re so full of yourself”, Baekhyun then sniggered before peeking through the curtained windows and seeing the first fans line up outside, “Don’t make me feed you to the crowd” 

Chanyeol’s gaze followed Baekhyun’s eyes and they exchanged a knowing look. Although it was reassuring to know their bodyguards and manager were around somewhere, they made their presence scarce, which both of them were more than thankful for. 

Baekhyun shrugged it off; there was nothing they could do about it anyway and right then, the people outside were not an issue they had to deal with just yet, so he simply busied himself with the menu, hungry and exhausted from the day’s traveling. 

“You still on that stupid diet?”, he asked without looking up. 

“It’s not stupid”, Chanyeol defended meekly, “But I’m making an exception tonight because I know you won’t stop bothering me if I don’t”

“I just think you don’t need it”, Baekhyun shrugged nonchalantly, knowing that the taller was probably as fit and lean as ever. 

“I know”, Chanyeol said with a small smile, “But I’m fine, so don’t worry about it”

“Whatever you say”, Baekhyun sighed and closed the menu, “Let me order for you” 

Chanyeol frowned at the random suggestion.

“What? No”

“Come on, Yeol. Don’t you trust me?”

Chanyeol scanned Baekhyun’s bright, open expression for a moment and ceded with an exasperated sigh, knowing just how useless it was to try and talk Baekhyun out of whatever silly idea he had conjured up in his mind. 

“Fine, but then you’ll have drinks with me afterwards” 

“Anything you want”, Baekhyun repeated his words from earlier without even thinking about it and Chanyeol’s chest warmed a little. 

As the waiter approached them, the blonde happily proceeded to list a more than abundant collection of all the dishes Chanyeol loved, knowing very well that the taller was too conscious of his health and appearance to ever order everything he really wanted for himself. 

He could feel Chanyeol’s eyes persistently watch him as he spoke and smiled to himself at the fondness and appreciation with which Chanyeol looked at him. He knew that expression alone was worth every single nasty drink he would be forced to down later on.

 

Much to Baekhyun’s distress, it wasn’t long before Chanyeol’s side of the deal came into full effect; it was only one hour and three alcoholic beverages later that Baekhyun started to regret his poor and impulsive decision making. 

They had moved to the bar, where Chanyeol was comfortably sipping on his beer and had taken it upon himself to get Baekhyun whatever funny named drinks he could find on the menu, not caring in the slightest about Baekhyun’s consistent protests in the background. 

Truth be told; Baekhyun _did_ have the taste buds of a child when it came to alcohol and although the occasional glass of champagne was _doable_ , he enjoyed neither beer nor whine while shots were entirely off limits. 

Chanyeol knew this of course and for his own entertainment purpose, he found amusement in filling up his friend with brightly colored cocktails of which the sugar content was high enough to make them taste agreeable even to someone as picky as Baekhyun. 

“Hand it over”, Chanyeol chuckled after watching a grimacing Baekhyun painfully struggle to gulp down his fourth drink and gently pried the half-empty glass out of his grasp. 

Baekhyun hiccupped slightly and couldn’t help but laugh at himself, hands flying up to cover his face.

“Dude, you really can’t hold your alcohol at all, can you?”, Chanyeol said and shook his head, “Remember you still owe me a few rounds of Battlegrounds”

“You’re the one getting me hooked on this sugary crap”, Baekhyun scoffed, “Probably because you know your poor gaming skills got nothing on me” 

“We’ll see”

Chanyeol emptied the last of Baekhyun’s drink with ease and went to pay for both of them before Baekhyun could even start to protest. He waved over their manager and handed him the keys of his Vespa.

“We’ll take the car back”, he said politely with a slightly apologetic smile, “I can come back for the scooter first thing tomorrow morning”

“That won’t be necessary, I’ll have someone take it”, the man replied with a simple nod of his head.

“Thank you”, Chanyeol smiled, bowing slightly and Baekhyun quietly cooed to himself.

A small, concentrated frown slowly shadowed over the handsome features of Chanyeol’s face as he leaned in more closely to understand what their manager was telling him and it made him look so serious, maybe even a little intimidating but just entirely different from the bubbly, childish and bright person he really was underneath. 

Baekhyun didn’t listen to their conversation, too focused on the way in which somber Chanyeol almost looked like a stranger in his eyes – a very attractive one at that - and he bit his lip, thinking sheepishly that solemnity definitely suited him.

When Chanyeol suddenly looked right into his direction and pointed at him, his gaze followed by that of their manager and bodyguards, he blushed and redirected his stare to the floor as if caught red-handed. 

Baekhyun was almost embarrassed at how obvious it was that he always dumbly relied on Chanyeol wherever they went. It made him realize all over again just how much he had really missed him and how everything instantly became so much easier in his presence. 

“So, as it turns out, people have been fully crowding the entrance for a while now”, Chanyeol then said with a hint of uncertainty wavering in his low voice as he interrupted Baekhyun’s wandering thoughts. 

“It will be fine though, they brought the car right out front. We’ll be out there for 20 seconds tops”, Chanyeol instantly started to assure him before Baekhyun even had the time to voice his concerns out loud. 

Baekhyun sighed, his legs reluctantly moving on their own to trail behind the taller and he could already hear the noise from the mob that had gathered outside as they made their way to the door. 

The second they exited the safety of the dining place, people began to swarm them; cameras and signs blocking their view everywhere as shouts filled their ears. He quickly lost sight of Chanyeol and the bodyguards that followed him, his tall frame having a much easier time navigating through the mob than Baekhyun did and people immediately moved in between them, effectively cutting him off.

Suddenly on his own, Baekhyun felt overcome by the crowd, which he had definitely underestimated. He was too tired for this, too sensitive and he could feel panic start to bloom within the pit of his stomach, slowly paralyzing him as it spread through his limbs. He slowed to a full stop, people bumping into him from all sides as he struggled to fill his lungs with some much-needed oxygen, eyes dropping to the floor to blend out the hectic surroundings.

“ _Baekhyun_ ”, Chanyeol’s familiar voice then called out to him, cutting through the anxious fog that clouded his mind and the taller appeared right in front of him, gently shaking his shoulder. 

Baekhyun couldn’t help the small whimper that tumbled past his lips and reached out to tug lightly on the arm of Chanyeol’s jacket. Acting purely out of instinct, Chanyeol turned himself a little more towards Baekhyun, putting a reassuringly firm hand around his upper arm to pull him close before he continued to move forward. 

Baekhyun wasn’t sure if it was the buzz of the alcohol or the anxiety the daunting crowd filled him with or a mixture of both, but he found himself reaching for Chanyeol’s hand, clutching it in his own and clinging onto him like a lost child. 

Chanyeol stopped for a moment to glance behind him and his eyes expressed an entirety of mixed emotions as he looked at Baekhyun; his confusion and curiosity mingled with worry about the headlines that would be plastered across the tabloids by tomorrow morning and he was just about to retreat his hand when something in Baekhyun’s frightened gaze held him back. 

“Please”, Baekhyun mouthed and silently pleaded him with his eyes, exhausted and overwhelmed as he moved closer behind Chanyeol until the other almost covered him completely. 

The younger just sighed in defeat, letting Baekhyun hold on to him as they were rapidly ushered into the safety of their black van. 

Baekhyun exhaled deeply, letting out a long breath he didn’t even know he had been holding in and leaned back in his seat, closing his eyes as if it would help drown out the noise.

“Are you okay?”, Chanyeol asked gently and moved to sit next to him, “I lost you there for a second” 

His voice was free of judgment, just worried as he knew that Baekhyun wasn’t too fond of large crowds no matter how often they had to deal with them. After all, what kind of person _liked_ to get mobbed? 

Baekhyun nodded faintly and fumbled with his seatbelt.

“Just a little caught off guard”, he admitted, embarrassed at his overly sensitive reaction to something that was so common for them, “And tired” 

“We’ll be home in no time”, Chanyeol murmured beside him and felt Baekhyun lean against him, resting his head on his shoulder. 

_Home_ , Chanyeol repeated quietly to himself and gazed down at Baekhyun with a small smile. He couldn’t help but think that home slowly began to look a lot more like a specific _someone_ rather than a certain _somewhere_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think and leave a kudo if you liked it? I know seems kinda slowburn so far but then again, it's only the second chapter, don't worry:) 
> 
> I also kind of gave Chanyeol the upper hand here but I genuinely don't know who would have the upper hand in their relationship? I think it just depends on the situation, but do let me know what you would want/think...  
> Personally, I'd let them both be in charge just depending on what seems right in the moment but please share your thoughts on this.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Send help, my heart is dying

“You cheated”, Chanyeol complained loudly, dropping his controller in frustration and Baekhyun knew he was about two seconds away from throwing a tantrum. 

He had to stifle his laughter as he watched a pouting Chanyeol grimly scoot away from him to the other side of the couch as if to make a statement. 

_His friend was such an idiot._

“I warned you”, Baekhyun chuckled and purposely moved over as well, destroying the symbolic distance that Chanyeol had put between them. 

“You’re no fun”

“You’re a sore loser”, Baekhyun sighed before picking up Chanyeol’s controller from the floor and holding it out to him expectantly.

“Rematch?” 

Chanyeol eyed him suspiciously as his fingers slowly wrapped around the black console.

“Fine, but don’t lose on purpose”

“Never”, Baekhyun said, biting down on the inside of his cheek to keep himself from breaking into a stupid grin because maybe that didn’t sound like such a bad idea at all.

Only ten minutes into their next round, Baekhyun didn’t even have to make an effort to lose anymore; his eyelids felt heavy and his motor skills suffered significantly from the tiredness that slowly but surely came over him. 

He let his body slump sideward into Chanyeol with a small groan, his fingers manipulating the colorful buttons purely out of habit as if he were running on autopilot.

“We can stop if you want”, Chanyeol offered with a quick glance down Baekhyun’s exhausted frame but the latter was quick to shake his head.

“No, it’s okay”, he retorted and made an effort to straighten up a little, knowing that playing a while longer wouldn’t kill him but _not_ finishing the game might actually kill Chanyeol, even if the latter would never admit that. 

“You’re almost dead anyway”, Chanyeol chuckled proudly and Baekhyun rolled his eyes at the irony of that statement and the excessive competitiveness he relentlessly had to deal with. 

Baekhyun couldn’t even pretend to be truly disappointed when the screen turned black a few minutes later and announced that Chanyeol had won, the ridiculous tune of the game ringing along the brunette’s silly victorious chant. 

Chanyeol quickly toned down the sound of his own voice as to not awake the other members and he almost wanted to jump up in excitement instead but refrained himself from doing so when Baekhyun leaned a little more into him and looked so peaceful that Chanyeol couldn’t bring himself to push him off.

“You are such a child”, the blonde complained and buried his face in Chanyeol’s shoulder to hide his smile.

“You are such a _loser_ ”, Chanyeol imitated dumbly and ruffled through his hair. 

Baekhyun just sighed dramatically, deciding for once in his life to be the bigger person and not give Chanyeol the satisfaction of potentially winning a stupid bickering match as well. 

Instead, they sat in comfortable silence for a minute or two; the only sound coming from the game that still ran in the background and served as white noise to their quiet breathing. 

Baekhyun was meticulously watching Chanyeol; his face lit up ever so slightly from the radiant television screen, smiling so brightly that it reached his eyes and brought out his dimple while the dimness of the living room cast shadows all around them and Baekhyun’s chest tightened a little. Maybe just because he hadn’t seen him in so, so long. 

He was so entranced that he barely even registered when Chanyeol leaned forwards, folding over him to take the remote until a sudden impulse unbeknownst to Baekhyun himself unfurled within him and had him reflexively reach out for Chanyeol; his fingers gently tracing his cheek and gradually moving along the soft skin until his hand settled at the back of his neck – applying light pressure to keep him from pulling away but not enough to come off as forceful.

He could feel the brunette shudder under the touch, his hand flying up to wrap around Baekhyun’s wrist in shock – almost as if ensuring if this was real, if Baekhyun had actually just done that – and both of them froze in surprise at the sudden proximity, eyes locked onto each other and completely stunned silent.

Almost immediately, the alarm bells went off in Baekhyun’s brain, taken aback by his own rash action and he was desperately urging himself to just remove his hand and _stop touching him for fuck’s sake_ , but his body wouldn’t follow suit and he persisted in his stance, miserably unmoving.

Usually, either of them would have broken into a smile, cracked a stupid joke or pulled a grimace at the awkwardness of the situation – anything really, to relieve the tension and laugh their current predicament off the way friends supposedly do. 

But right then, with their breaths intermingling and their eyes mirroring each other, they both found themselves incapable of producing any reaction at all; neither one of them pulling away nor breaking into laughter and the light-hearted atmosphere slowly dimmed into a much more serious one as the air around them grew heavy with doubt and anticipation. 

“Chanyeol”, Baekhyun breathed, feeling a lump rise in his throat and he swallowed in vain, struggling so hard to keep his gaze from dropping down.

A weak “Hm” was all Chanyeol managed to croak out in response, voice cracked and barely audible. 

His entire body went rigid at the way Baekhyun was staring at him. He couldn’t tell what intentions were nestled behind those sparkling brown eyes that he was used to knowing so well and it felt like Baekhyun was looking at him tonight in a way he had never dared to before. 

“I really missed you”, Baekhyun purred for what felt like the billionth time that evening and turned his body entirely towards Chanyeol, giving him his full, undivided attention and naively unaware that he was just one small movement away from slipping into the boy’s lap. 

_I missed you too_ , Chanyeol wanted to say but the phrase got stuck in the back of his throat, too dumbfounded by the sudden turn of events to form any words at all. 

Baekhyun was close – _too_ close – and Chanyeol had no idea what was happening; he didn’t know if they were pushing for something that should have been entirely out of their reach, he didn’t know if they were crossing a line whose existence they had never even been aware off and he most certainly didn’t know how to pull himself together to produce even just one single coherent thought at all – not with Baekhyun’s breath blowing in hot puffs over his lips like that. 

“ _Chanyeol_ ”, Baekhyun repeated shakily, now looking at him with a question in his eyes to which Chanyeol didn’t know the answer. Apparently, he didn’t know anything anymore. 

But then, Baekhyun pushed back some stray hair strands that had loosely fallen over his eyes, long fingers carding through his dark, unruly locks before gentle hands settled on his face, cupping his cheeks and Chanyeol was lost. 

The action was so kind and so _intimate_ that he caved and gave into the touch, his head tumbling back against the couch and eyes fluttering closed; too afraid to read the look in Baekhyun’s eyes – a look that shouldn’t have been meant for him at all.

He didn’t even have time to draw in another breath before soft lips suddenly pressed against his own, interrupting any and all thoughts he might have had in that very moment. 

Baekhyun was kissing him and it was so light that Chanyeol could almost feel the hesitance in the soft touch of lips, just lingering and waiting for a reaction. 

Chanyeol was definitely thrown for a loop; his jumbling thoughts crashing to a sudden full stop and his hands moving entirely on their own as they slowly settled on the small of Baekhyun’s back, pressing him closer and answering his actions.

It was only then that the blonde dared to take the final leap and fully straddled Chanyeol’s lap, lips parting slightly as they moved against each other in a deep, close-mouthed kiss. 

Now, Chanyeol would be lying if he said he’d never actually thought about kissing Baekhyun. The idea would come and go; sometimes just out of plain boredom, sometimes because Baekhyun would be so annoying that it just seemed like the perfect excuse to shut him up and sometimes, because Chanyeol’s eyes would linger just a little too long on those pretty, pink lips that never failed to fuel his imagination. 

Long story short, with all his goddamn daydreaming, Chanyeol should have been at least _somewhat_ prepared for the moment when it finally happened.

But no, all this time he had realistically restricted himself to envisioning nothing more but short pecks that meant nothing at all or drunken make-out sessions that neither of them would be able to recall the day after because there was just no way he would ever get anything _more_ than that.

Chanyeol had never actually dared to think that _this_ was how it would happen – all sweet and slow and sincere – and it was so different from anything he could have ever conjured up in his mind that nothing in the entire world could have possibly prepared him for it. 

Baekhyun’s fingertips lightly danced across his face, leaving tender caresses in their wake that brought him back to the present moment and he tilted his head to push a little deeper, plush lips moving in slow, perfect synchronization with his own. 

Baekhyun kissed him with such gentleness that Chanyeol couldn’t help but fall apart under his soft touches and playful lips, turning into a mess of raw emotion and utter confusion as he surrendered defenselessly to the control of the boy above him. 

“That wasn’t too bad for a drunk”, Chanyeol jested to mask his utter internal disarray when Baekhyun eventually pulled away. 

Heavy breaths fanned over each other’s faces and it was almost embarrassing how far gone he was from just a simple kiss – and not even a heated one at that. 

Baekhyun’s eyes lingered carefully on Chanyeol’s face, his expression somewhere in between dead serious and slightly amused, brows furrowed lightly into just the smallest hint of a frown.  
He gave Chanyeol a funny look before slowly shaking his head.

“I’m not drunk”, he murmured earnestly and ran his thumb over Chanyeol’s bottom lip, dragging it along just a little. 

Chanyeol was conflicted; although part of him was eternally relieved that Baekhyun hadn’t acted out of intoxication there was this faint, unnerving voice in the back of his head reminding him that blaming the entire ordeal on the fact that Baekhyun was drunk would have been so _so_ much easier.

“This is… _new_ ”, Chanyeol spoke hesitantly, trying to sugarcoat the fact that both of them must be completely out of their minds. 

Baekhyun just hummed contently against his lips, eyes still closed and seemingly not caring very much about the implications of their actions.

“I _like_ new”, he simply decided and pulled away just enough to let the tip of his nose brush against Chanyeol’s affectionately. 

If the situation had been a little more lighthearted, Chanyeol would have broken into laughter at the sweet gesture, but right then, all he could do was feel uncertainty seep into every inch of his being. 

“We really can’t - “

“Shush”, Baekhyun whispered quickly to silence him and gently pushed Chanyeol onto his back until they were lying on the couch rather than sitting; the younger’s head resting comfortably on the armrest as Baekhyun settled his weight on top of him, hands pressed against his chest. 

“But _Baekhyun_ \- “

“Don’t ruin it”, Baekhyun interrupted the younger’s sentence once again and lowered himself down onto his elbows until he was hovering right above him. 

He pressed sweet kisses to the corners of Chanyeol’s mouth, reassuring him but also effectively shutting him up for good this time before looking at him for just a moment. He felt a knot tighten in the pit of his stomach at the wide, vivid eyes that stared right back at him; so bright and trusting and kind that he couldn’t help but gravitate towards the brunette beneath him. 

Delicate fingers encased Chanyeol’s jaw, tilting his face slightly upwards and he willingly gave in to the movement before Baekhyun captured his lips once more, sending shivers through his limbs as if his heart were pumping electricity through his veins rather than blood. 

Chanyeol’s hands moved to the nape of Baekhyun’s neck, tentatively pressing him closer and the blonde sighed quietly into his mouth. In response, Baekhyun kissed back with a little more zeal; his tongue darting out to run over Chanyeol’s lips before slipping into his mouth to merge with his. 

Baekhyun kept the pace almost painfully slow as their mouths molded together, wanting to consume and savor every moment that passed between them until they would potentially stretch into eternity. 

His fingers were light as feathers; moving almost admiringly over the smooth skin of Chanyeol’s face with so much delicacy and tenderness that the brunette just _melted_. He bit back a small whine when Baekhyun reluctantly broke away.

“As much as I enjoy this, I really _am_ tired”, the blonde admitted sheepishly and gently pulled on Chanyeol’s bottom lip with his teeth before breaking into a soft smile. 

Peppering a few last, short kisses onto his lips, Baekhyun heaved himself off of Chanyeol and stood up from the couch, immediately feeling the exhaustion run through him as if weights were pulling at his every limb. 

He yawned, stretching slightly and observing from the corner of his eyes as Chanyeol slowly sat up. The younger fidgeted nervously with his fingers, suddenly not sure where to look or how to carry himself and just kept his gaze glued to the floor in humility. 

Although the rational part of his brain was definitely still impaired from Baekhyun’s sweet kisses, he was able-minded enough to conclude that nothing they did was to be of any real significance. Baekhyun was happy to be home and Chanyeol was happy to have him home; they were both too tired to properly express themselves and it was so late that everything just mingled into a cloudy, unclear mess of serenity in which what they _should_ and _shouldn’t_ do could impossibly be told apart. 

Somewhere in the deepest corner of his confused mind, he didn’t want to wake up tomorrow and just pretend it never happened, but he instantly suppressed the thought as quickly as it had come for the sake of his very own sanity. Acknowledging all of his tangled emotions right then and there would have been the equivalent of digging his very own grave and Chanyeol really wasn’t in the mood for it. 

He just swallowed down the unsaid words and unfinished thoughts, collecting himself as much as possible to wish Baekhyun a good night and retire into his own room. He wanted nothing more but some time to wind down on his own when out of nowhere, two small hands wrapped around his restless ones, stilling them. 

“Let’s go” 

Chanyeol’s gaze flew up to see Baekhyun stand right in front of him, a reassuring smile gracing his lips as he looked at the younger with warm, expectant eyes and _yes, okay, maybe he didn’t want to be alone that much after all._

Baekhyun intertwined their hands, pulling gently and Chanyeol clumsily scrambled off the couch. Confusion still clouded his mind like endless fog, but his limbs moved on their own, making every decision for him as he tagged wordlessly behind Baekhyun, who led him down the hallway and up the stairs. 

“What are we doing?”, he asked dumbly once Baekhyun shut the door of his room behind them and instantly winced at the sound of his own words. He was so perplexed that not even the most basic of his brain functions seemed to work properly. 

Baekhyun turned towards him with amusement dancing in his eyes and bit his lip as he looked at Chanyeol standing undecidedly and utterly puzzled in front of the doorframe like a lost puppy; he might be all tall and handsome, but he would still be flustered by just about anything. 

_God, he’s adorable._

“ _I_ am going to sleep”, Baekhyun chuckled in response to the silly question before unbuttoning the white shirt he’d worn all night, “ _You_ are welcome to join. Or you can just keep standing there all uncomfortably. As you wish” 

Chanyeol reflexively turned away and blushed like a lovestruck teenager as if he hadn’t seen Baekhyun change right in front of him at least a hundred times before. They were _bandmates_ who had _lived_ together for most of their lives and whose jobs literally _included_ the frequent changing of attire so Chanyeol was almost sure there was not a single thing about Baekhyun he hadn’t seen before, whether by accident or not, and yet right then, he couldn’t get himself to even just glance at the blonde. 

“What is with you?”, Baekhyun queried once he’d changed into a larger, more comfortable shirt and stifled his laughter, which he knew wouldn’t have been all too welcome. 

Chanyeol just shrugged helplessly, fumbling for words but his voice failed him because _he had no idea_. 

“Let’s just go to bed, yeah?”, he eventually mumbled in a rush and hurried past Baekhyun towards the bathroom without even looking at him.

“ _Cute_ ”, Baekhyun muttered under his breath and lightly shook his head before shuffling after Chanyeol, his heart jumping a little at how involuntarily endearing the younger was acting. 

They brushed their teeth in complete silence; partly because their physical speech capacity was obstructed by the action and partly because somewhere in between coming home from dinner and the present moment, Chanyeol had completely forgotten how to act around Baekhyun.

Probably somewhere around the time his best friend had decided it would be a good idea to kiss him. _Probably_.

He didn’t even dare to look into the mirror because he could tell that Baekhyun’s eyes were resting on him, curious and attentive as always. 

Baekhyun knew Chanyeol well enough to pick up on his agitation and observed in all seriousness how the brunette put all his efforts into blatantly ignoring him. Guilt started to gnaw at his insides at Chanyeol’s clear discomfort but then again, Baekhyun hadn’t _forced_ him into anything; the memory of Chanyeol’s hands pulling him close and eager, pliant lips willingly reciprocating his kisses was so clear and freshly engraved in his mind that it kept any regrets he might have had at bay.

Nevertheless, Baekhyun tried to keep his usually way too talkative mouth shut and let Chanyeol keep his distance, caring too much for the younger to push him even more and make fun of him for his jittery nerves. 

“Thanks for coming up with me, you know I hate going to bed last. It’s so creepy, but I’ll be fine now”, he said cautiously, offering Chanyeol an easy way out in case that was what he really wanted but without making it seem like he was attempting to get rid of him. 

He smiled warmly at the brunette before disappearing out of the bathroom, trying to convey that he was welcome here but that leaving was also more than fine. He wanted to give Chanyeol that choice without pressuring him.

Crawling beneath his sheets, Baekhyun sighed blissfully and sank into the soft mattress. He loved coming home from overseas schedules. There was just something about the return to familiarity that brought him happiness; coming back to his own room with all of his belongings and rejoicing in everything he was used to and appreciated.

Then, there was of course the person you came back to and although he missed every single one of their members whenever they spent some time apart, for Baekhyun that person was Chanyeol, whether he was fully aware of it or not.

Coming home just naturally always included the brunette; it meant coming back to someone who wouldn’t have changed in their time apart, someone who knew him like the back of his own hand in case he ever lost himself and someone he could always blindly rely on. 

He had almost happily dozed off to that thought warming his chest when Chanyeol’s deep voice cut through his sleepy haze.

“Can I stay?” 

Baekhyun sat up and blinked a few times until his eyes accommodated to the dark, now that the bathroom light had been turned off. The moon was shining through the windows of his room and it was just enough to outline Chanyeol’s tall frame standing hesitantly at the foot of his bed.

“Of course”, Baekhyun answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world and tried not to let his surprise ring through the tone of his voice.

When Chanyeol didn’t move, Baekhyun could practically _see_ him bite down on his bottom lip the way he always did when he was nervous while his fingers fumbled with the hem of his shirt, even though the darkness of the room didn’t allow him to actually witness either of those. His eyes softened at the mere thought. 

“Come here”, he smiled, extending his arm towards Chanyeol before lightly patting the spot next to him in case the younger couldn’t make out the gesture. 

The mattress dipped a little under Chanyeol’s weight as he slipped underneath the covers with his heart beating out of his chest.

He knew he was being a wimp because technically, there was nothing unusual about the situation whatsoever; they had slept in the same bed on countless occasions before and it was nothing that was supposed to get him _this_ squeamish. 

But all those times, sleep was all there had ever been to it, whereas now, the abundance of affection he was harboring towards the blonde was so overwhelming that it almost paralyzed him. 

He felt the need to do something, felt like Baekhyun was expecting him to do something and the pressure of it all made him feel a little suffocated. 

He hesitated for the billionth time that night; arguing back and forth with himself as he weighed all the pros and cons in a vain attempt to assess the situation at least somewhat rationally. 

But then, his eyes landed on Baekhyun, who was lying timidly curled up into a ball on his side, back turned towards him. The moon was just bright enough to illuminate the natural curve of his body outlined by the thin shirt he was wearing, and he was so awfully close and it would be so easy to just cuddle him the way Chanyeol refused to admit he desperately wanted to, and he looked so perfect that all of his doubts and worries suddenly seemed utterly ridiculous and irrelevant.

 _Fuck it_ , Chanyeol thought and before he could change his mind again, he reached for Baekhyun and cradled his small frame into his arms, pulling him close until his back was firmly pressed up against his torso. 

The blonde let out a long, relieved breath as if he’d been waiting for just _that_ and immediately clutched at Chanyeol’s arms to wrap them all around himself, soothing the younger at the same time. His body went limp the more he relaxed into the embrace. 

“Good night”, Chanyeol whispered, his lips gracing the shell of Baekhyun’s ear before he gently nuzzled the back of his neck and slightly tightened his arms around the blonde’s waist.

Baekhyun shivered; a fuzzy warmth engulfed him as he cuddled even closer to Chanyeol. He just about managed to breathe out a quiet “ _Night_ ”, before he fell asleep - his last thoughts occupied by a certain brunette with sparkling brown eyes and the brightest smile he’d ever seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any specific direction you want this to go into, please leave a suggestion and I'll see what I can do:) 
> 
> If you liked it, please feel free to leave comment or a kudo, it always makes my day! <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Does it matter?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry, I am a horrible person but I am back. Please don't hate me.

Chanyeol woke with the light of morning summer when the sun was already halfway up in the sky and throwing funny shadows through the meekly curtained windows that danced all across the floor. He felt oddly at peace despite being much more of a night owl than a morning bird, but the comforting warmth of his blankets and the pretty sunrise were almost worth letting his slumber slowly fade into consciousness. 

It was only then when he forced his tired eyes open and blinked against the shrill brightness of the room in utter disorientation that he realized Baekhyun was gone. 

The tired part of his barely woken brain dismissed all the instant worries that would have been so typical for ever overthinking Chanyeol and lazily concluded that Baekhyun always rose earlier than himself in the mornings and could never stay still for even just another second once his sleepiness had worn off. 

Nevertheless, recollections of Baekhyun cuddled up in his arms when they had fallen asleep together in the earliest morning hours progressively came back to him, flooding his mind and demanding all of his attention. The memory was so fresh and so clear that the feeling of having Baekhyun that close still lingered with him and made his skin tickle now that he was alone. 

Intricate details of their evening were etched into his brain as defined and permanent as a tattoo while reminisces of soft kisses haunted his thoughts as the cherry on top. He found himself missing Baekhyun’s proximity against his better judgment and his mood sank like a rock once he realized that last night would inevitably be reduced to nothing more but one small, silly anecdote amongst many – a joke to be remembered as an insider of their yearlong friendship – but not to be mentioned and never to be repeated.

For a fleeting moment, he allowed himself to indulge in the dull pain of this revelation in a half-hearted attempt to get it all out of his system. He let the subtle ache expand from the hollows of his chest into every crevice of his being until he felt heavy with sadness, almost as if he were punishing himself for having all these thoughts in the first place.

Then, more rational thoughts cut through the drowsy morning fog in his brain and quickly morphed the irrational sorrow into the even more unbearable feeling of uncertainty. 

Doubts started to cloud his mind the more he overthought the situation and fear took over – fear of his own actions and fear of Baekhyun’s interpretation of them. He worried that Baekhyun might genuinely be regretting all they had done and that he would never be able to look at him the same again; the mere possibility of which almost made Chanyeol feel nauseous. 

Although he knew that Baekhyun had been just as involved as himself – if not even more by starting the entire ordeal – the paranoid part of him jumped to conclusions and figured that Baekhyun had left him because last night had been a mistake. Or at least because Baekhyun thought it was. 

Chanyeol couldn’t help the profound sigh escaping him at the uncontrollable mess his mind was in and let his memory prevail for just a second, the tip of his fingers moving delicately over puffy lips where Baekhyun had kissed him before he flinched; sternly pulling himself together and blushing as if caught committing a crime. Unnerved eyes reflexively snapped towards the door just to find that it was still securely shut. Of course, it was. There was only him and his abundance of distraught thoughts. _Oh boy_. 

He took a few deep breaths, slowly recovering the bright and positive attitude that was so usual for him, and forced himself to repaint the entire situation in brighter colors. He had known all along that it was just in good fun and carelessness. It hadn’t stopped him then from giving into Baekhyun’s charms in a way he hadn’t even known he could want to, and it shouldn’t bother him now that it was over. He ought to look back onto last night with a lighter heart even if the evening turned out to be meaninglessly forgotten. 

There should be nothing stopping him from getting over this minor quandary as easily as he had gotten himself into it. 

An exasperated groan left him when he finally gathered himself enough to sit up and free himself from his warm bundle of cozy covers. He chuckled and broke into a small smile at the thought of Baekhyun carefully tucking an unnecessary amount of blankets all around him before leaving. It was almost funny how Baekhyun unconsciously left behind the traces of his presence everywhere, which was what made him all the more missed whenever he was gone. He could be so close to Chanyeol and yet somehow be miles away at the same time. 

Then, with a grumbling stomach, a tired scowl and dressed in lazy sweats, he shuffled down the hallway and straight into the kitchen, hoping that some food and coffee would help him clear his mind and ease his heart. 

“You look cheery”

Chanyeol scoffed at Junmyeon’s teasing remark that welcomed him the second he made it through the doorframe. 

He acknowledged the leader with an exaggerated, toothy smile and mumbled a barely audible “Good morning" under his breath before moving towards the counter where a steaming pot of hot coffee was already waiting and he mentally thanked whoever member had been thoughtful enough to leave it there.

“You’re on dispatch”, Junmyeon then called out to him, his voice unreadable, “Again. I think they’re in love with you” 

Chanyeol shrugged with a roll of his eyes. This was not the type of light conversation he had hoped to be greeted with that morning. And weren’t all of them always on dispatch anyways?

“Happens to the best of us”, he quipped, sarcasm ringing through his words and leaned back against the counter, eyeing their leader somewhat expectantly. 

Junmyeon smiled almost apologetically at the face Chanyeol was pulling.

“Everything was fine, yesterday, right?”, he asked, undoubtedly serious this time and Chanyeol tilted his head a little in confusion.

“Why wouldn’t it have been?”

Junmyeon sighed as if he'd anticipated the retort and walked over to Chanyeol, “The company’s under criticism for letting you guys get mobbed like that. Blaming them for a lack of security and the media ain’t helping either”

He threw a quick glance towards the door and lowered his voice, “Baekhyun seemed to have gotten hurt. I can’t blame them, I saw the footage”

“He _could_ have gotten hurt. He was alone in a crowd, that _is_ a lack of security. It's not his fault ”, Chanyeol said sharply, jumping to Baekhyun’s defense before Junmyeon could even elaborate his point. The leader let out another sigh, silently asking Chanyeol to listen him out, and gave him a look that said he should at least try to use his brain, even if it was morning.

“Yeah, _I_ know that. But they might still fire one of the bodyguards to appease public opinion. I’m just telling you now because I wasn't sure whether or not to tell Baekhyun. You know this isn't coming from me.”

Chanyeol took a moment to contemplate what Junmyeon had told him.

“Don’t tell him”, he said after a moment of silence, “It won't make a difference and he'll just blame himself."

“Your call. But he's all yours if he gets mad”

Chanyeol waved him off with a roll of his eyes. 

“Fine”

And then, as if on cue, a mob of blonde hair appeared in the doorframe and Baekhyun stepped into the kitchen as unbothered and content as always, making Chanyeol choke on his drink in surprise.

He almost dropped his mug at the sudden entrance and clumsily set it down on the counter as the hot liquid spilled all over his fingers. 

“Aish”

He quickly retreated his hand and held it up against his chest.

Junmyeon just scoffed at his inability to ever be smooth about anything and, rolling his eyes at the idiot of a friend he had there, he exited the scene with a small greeting to an amused Baekhyun.

“M-morning”, Chanyeol stammered when Junmyeon was gone, heart hammering hard in his chest - from the pain of course - and winced at his miserable attempt to play it cool and pretend he hadn’t spent all morning thinking about nothing but Baekhyun so far. 

The blonde stopped in his tracks for a moment to send Chanyeol a bemused look and shook his head with a low chuckle. 

“You should put that under cold water”, he pointed out nonchalantly and eyed Chanyeol’s hand before starting to rummage through the fridge for some food. 

“That’s okay… it’s not that bad”, Chanyeol spoke somewhat coherently even though his skin was pulsing where the liquid had burned him. 

Baekhyun paused his movements and stared at Chanyeol with a vaguely amused, vaguely irritated look on his face. He sighed dramatically and padded over to the taller in quick steps to take ahold of his wrist and move over to the sink. Chanyeol was too dumbfounded to protest and let himself be manhandled as Baekhyun ran the water on its coldest setting before dunking his hand right under. He loosened up a little at the soothing coolness and tried hard to ignore the way in which Baekhyun’s touch had his skin burning up all over again. 

“I really don’t know how you’d ever survive on your own”, Baekhyun mumbled teasingly and let go of him for a short moment to get some ice from the freezer that he carefully wrapped into a small towel. 

“I don’t really have to”, Chanyeol shrugged mischievously, nodding his head towards the hand that Baekhyun was so attentively tending to. The older blatantly ignored the remark, pretending to be focused on the task at hand – quite literally - but Chanyeol caught the way in which his cheeks flushed a subtle pink. 

“Keep this on for a bit, yeah?”, Baekhyun murmured and put the makeshift icepack onto the scalded skin with light pressure.

Chanyeol followed through without protest; using his own hand to hold the cooling pack in place as Baekhyun withdrew his. 

He swayed momentarily, forgetting himself for just a second and reflexively reached for Baekhyun’s wrist, stopping him in his retreat. His mouth opened to speak but he was so surprised by his own actions that no words made it past his lips. Not like he had anything to say in the first place. 

He felt the urge to lace their fingers together, hold his hand and just remain like that for a little while for reasons he didn't understand, but he could feel Baekhyun tense under his touch, making him recoil as if he’d burned himself a second time all over again the minute his common sense kicked back in.

“I-…sorry”, he choked out, redness starting to creep up his neck and he felt hot with embarrassment. He made sure to avoid Baekhyun’s confused expression and maneuvered exaggeratedly far around his small frame to sit down at the table. His legs suddenly didn't feel all that stable anymore.

Nervously, his fingers fumbled with the loose ends of the damp towel to distract himself from the heat in his cheeks and his eyes dropped downwards, suddenly finding a spiking interest in the boring pattern of the linen the table was covered with.

Baekhyun gave him a moment to collect his thoughts and grabbed Chanyeol’s abandoned mug, lightly shaking his head to himself as he moved about the kitchen to refill it with more coffee. He sucked in a deep breath before sinking into the seat opposite Chanyeol and carefully pushed the cup towards him as if it were a peace offering until it was right underneath his gaze.

“Thank you”, the younger exhaled shakily and Baekhyun nodded in response, questioning eyes attempting to decipher Chanyeol’s guarded ones but finding nothing but that small, bashful smile that wasn't even directed at him and told him nothing at all. His eyes wandered too as they looked about the room, casting glances left and right and up and down as long as they didn't look back at Baekhyun.

The latter peered over to the door, making sure they didn’t have an audience for the conversation that would entail or they would never rid themselves of unnecessary questions and teasing. 

He knew that both of them would rather ignore than resolve but seeing that it was clear as a day that last night had left its traces, they might as well talk it out.

“We’re…okay, right?”, Baekhyun asked slowly, his voice wavering slightly from embarrassment as he brought up last night but he didn’t cave – didn’t let his eyes break away for even just a second, lest he missed any changes in Chanyeol’s composure that would tell him how the younger felt.

He hated when Chanyeol tried to shut him out like this, whether consciously or not, even if his eyes always tend to betray his lies to the people who knew him well enough. 

Baekhyun wished Chanyeol would just act normal so they could both forget about last night. Or at least get a good laugh out of it. Anything but making a big deal out of it would be fine by him; otherwise, he’d feel awful for letting himself take things so far and ruining whatever perfect dynamic they’d had before. 

“We’re fine”, Chanyeol then said eventually even though his entire body language was suggesting the opposite.

Baekhyun bit down on the inside of his cheek and mediated his words carefully.

“Listen, last night was- “

“It was nothing, I know”, Chanyeol blurted out before Baekhyun could beat him to it and the latter felt a strange, burning sensation shoot through him, making him frown a little.

Not that Chanyeol actually meant it; he just figured it was what the other had come to tell him and he really didn’t want to hear it from Baekhyun himself. He didn’t want to hear how it had been a mistake and how it meant nothing at all and how they should just forget about it and so his defenses shot up without even giving him time to consider how his words might sound out loud. How they might sound to Baekhyun, who was now busy controlling the sting gnawing at the pit of his stomach.

He was a little caught off guard; having expected anything but such a harsh dismissal, he stuttered for a moment, feeling a little hurt and surprised as he fumbled for words.

“Do you mean that?”, he queried, unable to fight the way his lips puckered into a childish pout. 

He knew it was unfair, asking him a question to which no answer could possibly be the right one but he couldn’t help it. Maybe his pride was a little hurt. Maybe his feelings too but he didn't let himself think that far.

Chanyeol nodded his head, afraid his voice would blow his cover when he was so determined to get this over with as quickly as possible. He was panicking; his impulses quarreling with the rational part of him to such extent that he couldn’t even pay appropriate attention to the sulking figure in front of him. 

He missed the way in which Baekhyun's face sank a little more with every second that passed. Missed the way in which he nervously ran a hand through his hair and let out an exasperated breath because his words were a little unexpected. Missed the way in which he pouted some more because the sting they caused was a little unexpected too.

Baekhyun was unnerved by the wandering eyes that settled on anything but him.

“Look at me”, he complained, louder this time with his insecurity now manifesting itself as impatience in the tone of his voice. He _needed_ Chanyeol to speak up; needed to hear from him that they were fine and that he hadn’t royally fucked things up between them or he’d never forgive himself.

Chanyeol hesitated visibly and helplessly fumbled around for a moment.

 _It's just Baekhyun_ , he told himself repeatedly before mustering up the courage to look right back at him for the very first time that day, all flushed and nervously biting down on his bottom lip and honestly just straight up _adorable_ but Baekhyun knew it wasn’t the right time for such thoughts.

“Do you really mean that? That it was nothing?”, he asked again, more patient now that Chanyeol's familiar brown orbs were focused on him, soothing him a little. All the while, Chanyeol vividly searched Baekhyun's eyes for all the right answers.

 _Did he mean that?_ Probably not.

 _Should he mean that?_ Probably.

 _Did Baekhyun want him to mean that?_ No idea.

He shifted in his seat, feeling entirely too uncomfortable and put on the spot to even have this conversation with himself, let alone Baekhyun.

“Please”, he whined quietly, “Can we do this later?”

“No”, Baekhyun protested firmly but his eyes softened as they settled on Chanyeol’s face, “Just talk to me”

“I _am_ ”

“Oh my god, Chanyeol-“

“Fine, I do”, the brunette then choked out before he could stop himself, “I do mean it. It was nothing, we’re fine. Just forget it.”

He didn’t even care if it was the truth or not; Baekhyun was cornering him while keeping his own thoughts all to himself and it made him feel trapped. 

He didn’t really have a choice either; any other answer would automatically imply that Baekhyun was maybe something more to him than he was willing to lead on or believe or even just consider. Something he had never even thought about before and that he certainly wouldn’t start losing his mind about now. Something that Baekhyun just _wasn’t_. 

Opposite him, Baekhyun let out a breath as if the air had been punched out of his lungs before he quickly caught himself, coughing awkwardly. His lips parted as if he were trying to protest but he was speechless, dimmed eyes staring at Chanyeol and wishing they could look right through his mind instead. 

Unease started to bubble up deep within his stomach, unsettling him to the bone. He wanted to reach out but felt that his touch wouldn’t have been welcome.

“Chanyeol”, he tried again, his voice barely above a whisper before fading into dead silence. 

“It’s okay, really”, the brunette said and abruptly got up from his chair, making Baekhyun flinch a little, “I’ll see you later”

He offered a weak smile that was anything but genuine before exiting the kitchen in a hurry and leaving behind a steaming cup of coffee and a thoroughly confused Baekhyun.

If he hadn't been so desperate to drop the subject, he would have had the time to be more considerate of his words. More considerate of Baekyhun. He was irritated by the way in which the blonde had left him no room to think - to sort out his own thoughts in peace before letting anyone else in on how he really felt.

Back in the kitchen, Baekhyun hadn't moved a muscle and stared off into the distance where Chanyeol had disappeared through the door. _It wasn’t supposed to be like this_ , was all he could really think but he didn't even know what he had even been expecting. Suddenly, bringing the subject up at all seemed like an utterly ridiculous idea to him.

He felt lost; something about the situation not sitting well with him. Something was _off_ , even with Chanyeol claiming the opposite, and all of his instincts were screaming at him to sort it out and make it right but he couldn’t even pinpoint the problem.

Part of him wanted to go after Chanyeol, his every limb tingled with the subtle need to be close to him as if that alone would solve everything.

The bigger part of him was terrified; overwhelmed with fear of what half his heart was subconsciously trying – _and failing_ – to tell him that it had him glued to his chair for the rest of the morning, unmoving until Jongdae came to kick him out and rush him to his vocal class.

_He didn’t hit a single note that day._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me so long because I just don't like when things aren't all sunshine and rainbows, which is why it took me a while:) 
> 
> Please, please leave a kudo or a comment if you liked it, or if you have any wishes, it always really makes my day<3 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who is even still reading this...<3


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